Yours Truly

I miss the summer days. Oh how they drift away, those sweet summer days. I can taste the tears that roll down my cheek like waves and seap into the crack of my lips. Oh to trace the curve of his figure with my finger tips. I cry not of sadness or pain, yet I express my gratitude to continue dreaming. I release my souls breath with these tears, for happiness has filled the hidden piece of this puzzle. The timing is almost perfect, for this year ends with a soft smile, a gentle wish. To them, to him, I send a kiss. Remember me as you once did, loving spirit, infinite bliss. I must be on my way to live, oh those summer days.

The Look of Love

The soul never ages.

"I loved him before I even knew him. I am only human and I have loved as best as I possibly could."

He looks at me so deeply. Need no words darling, I see it in your eyes. So perfect, how we gaze into each other and naturally we both know- The goodness our love has brought us.

I reach my hand to cup his sweet face and he sighs. I breathe his scent, his tender scent and I feel alive. The look of love. Oh that look of love, swims through my head. And I take just that with me until the end. Keep me alive. Oh those eyes.

Downtown Los Angeles

Red Rose

Black clouds from a distance. She wore red. The sharpest red I have ever seen. I knew of her, of her name, of her story. Her bright blue eyes shined into me, into the deepest crevasse of my soul, as if she knew me. I could not help but walk to her. The life around us stopped but not that of raining tears. And still I was drawn to her healing aura. Her arms opened and I fell into her heart. Her slow, and calm breathing reached out to find me, console me, to simply hold me. Oh to breathe, to believe. She held me like I have been lost for years. She held me tenderly and nothing more. The day love left her in final peace has become the day of my rebirth.

Rose Hills
November 7, 2010

Chasing Waves

The sand filled the space between my toes. I ached to feel. The waves crashed as my knees fell to the ground. I surrender to the reality I have made my world. There is only a slight wind, but still there is wind. The sky has no clouds and I am surrounded by white feathers. My eyes are chasing the waves and I breathe only to believe. I'm close to the water yet not enough to touch . Oh world take me away. The sand comforts me. "Hold me, embrace me in the still silence as my current of tears drop on your bed of crushed crystals." I'll keep chasing waves. I'll stay here as long as it takes. To sink in the sand and disappear. Bury me half alive. Leave me on my dying day and let me go in peace.

Mid day in Malibu, CA

Clouds

I want to fly high. I caught myself from falling, into a routine. I am unstoppable. Save me from the crazy thoughts when I am left to die of boredom. I need, need to move, to feel, to flow with the thrill of every second of existence. If not I am worthless…..

He reaches out to me, just enough for me to know, I am in his thoughts more often than never. The physical being is the inevitable, yet he draws me much closer to soul than any other being in this lifetime. His tone is vibrant, shocking me with the accent of his deep and sultry voice. Nothing can ever part the idea that we are meant to be forever, in this life and the past, in this life and so on. He moves step by step, like a cat, smooth with finesse, towards me, reminding me I am life. But never like that of his poetry. As without such, live no lives. He speaks so deeply I drown in the fantasy of his friction, in his collection of chaos, I can die a passionate death to its final line. And that I will.

Patio Poet

September 2010

Olive Hue

He knew, exactly what ached in me. Despite my flaws, he found beauty in them. His embrace, filled me with a sense of warmth only the wind could bring. Forget me not, for his touch is branded deep in my soul, releasing me and sending me on my journey to be free again. After all the tears, the triumph and the moments of truth, the mystery of it all reflects upon my eyes. I wish to never forget, he is the reason I am in this world. I have soared my wings many times, flying, finding my way. The searching of my soul has brought me here and I am able to rest in peace. For my soul mate has been gifted to me like a dream. The light shines behind his beautiful and god like figure, leaving me never. Yet leaving my heart to beat in perfection, with the tone of his whispers. I am left speechless. If my heart could sing, oh how my heart would sing the song of his infinite love.

Rooftop Reflections

The breeze sends my hair to sway east. The sun and I are face to face smiling at the beauty of the day. I rest alone. The city surrounds me and I am over shadowed by the skyscrapers and their glaring glass eyes. I sip on serenity. This tea sends me to a mind set of tranquility. And the musical tunes of police sirens, car horns and the echoes of random strangers on the streets, sound like bells.What remains is the truth of self liberation. To be completely free at heart, mind and soul. The movement is nonstop, the pace unpredictable yet the rhythm of life remains vibrant and full of color. As do the hues that blanket the Pacific Sea. Sunset send me to peace. Steady at heart, I am content. I am blessed, for this blissful dream is as alive as my present breath. If the world was on fire I'd burn for love, in love with my found treasure. I never dreamt of coming this close to heaven. I surrender for this moment. Love me as I love you.

Downtown Los Angeles, CA

Nine Lives

I called her crying. She's seen me through heaven and hell. Alive and dead. I could not grasp my breath so smoothly nor the fact that it was over. It is always over. I felt like I died again. This too familiar feeling, oh how I must be reborn. There is always an end. The saying "It's not meant to be," is false. It is meant to be, as is everything with an end. I've learned this through a few bitter sweet and lovefilled endings.The pain, how it aches, the hurt trembled with every spoken word that evening. The definition of soul mate in a plural form, from her mouth to my ears was new to me, was true to me. Like the cat I am. I loved him, every piece of his broken heart. As did I love him, enough to travel the seas to meet his touch. I love him, so dear I gave him a piece of my soul. And I love him for loving me. I loved him for teaching me to be real, authentic. As I also loved him for giving me hope to love again. I loved them all for many reasons. Reasons that have led me here to love him for simply loving me. The blood has dripped through my sliced skin and soft bruises, the tears have flowed like the wine in my glass and I still breathe with a steady beat. I have felt and I feel again, the bliss warms every inch of my body and soul as I have danced to the moonlight in romance. I'm blessed to love and to have loved than those who fear to never love at all.

Los Angeles, CA

Portraits

I flip through channels like I do the chapters in my life. It's a never ending flow, that of the hustle and I continue to slip into a rhythm of blues and high music notes. I'm a visionary and I visualize the next stepping stone yet the fog which clouds in the water hides this pretty stone. The lyrical nagging remains the same throughout the years, vibrant and two toned. This too familiar world around me moves lazily with no finesse yet I breathe calmly, dazzled by the deep red that floats in my wine glass. I cup its wholeness, embrace its presence as it fills me to quiet privacy, at last. I write, as I always do. Strength please don't leave. Oh how my thoughts they are never limited, if anything I wish them to rest just this once. So maybe for a clear moment, what I see I can fully understand. But who is to say what is to be or what will be, for the perfect in my eyes do fall. It makes slow sense that I choose to step a side and now my heart is beating for a different ride. I question not my dreams nor passions but to doubt the foundation of my early hopes, this transition from burning home to home has lost its sheltering souls. And I remain bonded yet silent, slanted smile enough to pass by as the overwhelming chaos has emotions drifting to heavy sighs. A bold man once told me, this too shall pass. But how can he be so sure that the truth will be the last.

Los Angeles, CA

Fly With Me

The endless hours keep me up and the caffeine has my mind whispering wonders. Tonight I asked myself a question I have once asked myself a few years ago. Only because I've been caught off guard as the truth has prevailed such deep connection of the souls counterpart. What am I afraid of? What do I fear? My characteristics hold no connection to such thought however... Deep, very deep hides a missing piece. A piece of answer to what it is I fear. A piece to my mystery of which so many are curious about. Let me clear my throat and mind. For failure, how it burdens my beating heart. And as I ache to overcome this it dwells so heavily causing me to run, sometimes even from the best things. I run so I can fly and I run for my own safety. I fear to fail upon my truest passion in life, which is and has always been, love.  For its meaning is my reason to breathe. I usually end up alone at the end because I choose to. I put myself through these situations which have molded me into this random, free and always moving woman. Straining my strength in ways that I test the capacity of chaos I can emotionally, mentally and spiritually take. Yet this wall that has triggered such controlled contentment and this shy secret, is tired of trying to understand this, feeling. As fear has caused  much loss and has done damage to those around me. I am conscious and I am aware and as the strong and passionate woman I have become, for that I am forever thankful. I yearn to fear no more. Finally, I pause. For the first time, I have stopped and rest with no movement, no existence of time. Just this once, the perfect being in my eyes, has come into my life. And the first heart beat is born. Unexpected, dreamlike and as fearful as I, how I feel stronger and more alive to love with or without failure, with every emotion one can ever encounter, regardless the fear- we are in battle together. A battle for love. I want this more than ever and my all is all I have to offer. I'll be fearless until love dies.

Los Angeles, CA

May 12, 2010

Lioness

The sun peaks in slowly catching my attention just enough to open my eyes and see life. I wake from dream, to dream. Only to sigh ever so sweet. We have become twisted tastefully. Our bodies rest as art. And I take in every moment to appreciate and accept his beating heart. My mouth slightly open, lips tenderly touch to sip the pulse of his whole being. His inhale whistles like wind as I lay my face upon his chest. Music of his heart, beats to my steady breath. My arm wraps perfectly, parallel to the back of his neck. Like a vine I have embraced him, his beauty rests in my hand. The layer of texture which shelters his soul has become my canvas as I paint along his arched back. My finger tips trace poetry. To the chemistry that has entwined us soulfully, now we rest.

Los Angeles, CA

May 2, 2010

Bliss

All I wanted was a taste of truth, a feel for some soulful energy. I left the common grounds I was comfortable with, to explore for the sake of my own being. I yearned to discover a story of my own. I rode my bike along the unpaved rock road, my destination was only the thought of where ever I felt like going and that was good enough. I just wanted to move, to be alone and feel the presence of no other, but my own. I cut a few corners leading to a more unpopulated scenery, into smaller much narrow dirt path, up strenuous hills and down vine covered walls. I felt alive with the wind against my skin, chasing its last touch. I felt like I could breathe again. How the thoughts carried me to calm senses and my childhood memory of carefree emotion. The need to be completely free again flourished within and how the feeling never left. My ears tingled, I could hear clear singing of the waves waking from the suns shine and falling to the sands touch. The breeze faded and I stopped. A tiny walkway with large rocks almost dangerous to walk upon, dared me to try and led me to secrecy of a lifetime. My heart immediately felt a strong pressure as if an unexpected hug from a long lost loved one found me. The path guarded with avocado green cactus and naked trees with spiral branches connected to its end presented a treasure chest of sea shells and a black stone platform that embraced the sea. I could not believe the beauty bestowed upon me and the vibrance of life which overflowed my energy. I was ecstatic, like a child receiving a gift that impacted a youthful mind forever. It was me and what I was gifted with, the moment to just be again, careless and with no guardian- just free. I dropped everything in my possession and fled to this dream. I stood in the center of this platform and I looked over an oval shape hole filled with water, bonded to a small cave like mouth that drank its warm soothing tea. I dipped my foot into this pool and a thunder roar from the ocean sent a silky wave. Blinded for a moment as the mouths cave swallowed a hundred gallons worth; this oval shaped hole, in this platform I stood on, exploded a burst of beauty like fireworks in the sky and showered every inch of my body with it's liquid love. Drenched in bliss with the waters touch. At that defined minute this smile, a smile I truly remember as a child crafted my face and I was more alive than I have ever been in my young days. Just those moments of play alone, the ecstacy of joy, the suprising tickle from mother earth, how it filled me with an indescribable amount of pure happiness; with words I can never really verbalize. That was it. It was mine, no one elses and it was perfectly fine to be selfish for once. I could feel the excitement of laughter celebrate inside my soul. How this bliss made my world spin round and round, forever going and I could taste the essence of life.

Nosara, Costa Rica

April 22, 2010

Solo

The night has slowly taken over as the sun floats itself to sleep. Hues of red and orange burn the sky to ashes leaving us in a deep blue mood. We stay awake. She sits below me, her toes almost close enough to touch the water yet far enough to be pleased just by its movement. She finds peace. He walks with wonder, finding his way to the waves which glaze the large flat rocks like sweet frosting on a cake. He finds peace. I wait on the stone cliff, it lifts me above all my surroundings and reconnects me with the wind. I find peace. As silence holds us, all that matters is this moment.

Santa Teresa, Costa Rica

What Dreams May Come

I believe in dreams and their meanings. The way these dreams speak to us with symbols in hopes that we understand or take further action to truly connect with what it all means. Last night I had a dream. I was flying over the sea in the midst of a cloud filled night. I had no idea what I was flying towards nor do I remember anything else from this dream but this moment. From a distance my vision caught the sight of a white horse, swimming in the middle of the ocean. My speed was uncontrollable yet I was fearless and only eager to come close to this unique and beautiful creature. As I came close the wind blew in a circular motion spinning me counter clock wise around this prized treasure that slightly swam yet more elegantly float in the middle of the steady sea. I flew around this horse, my hand reaching only to touch it and the closer I spun around its beauty, the warmer my soul became as I felt a natural and spiritual movement in my body. My fingers felt the hairs of this creature and as I rest my palm for just one second on the head of this horse, I woke. I woke in darkness yet enlightened with this rush of emotion that came from a power so deep that tears flowed sweetly, reaching my lips. I smiled and closed my eyes, with hopes to dream again.

Leah Jurado
Los Angeles, CA
"Home"

Costa Rica

The wind, how it blows and yet I never see it. I smile on this last evening of my visit to this tranquil country of Costa Rica. The evening is breezy in the city of San Jose and time does not exist in this journey that I am currently venturing on. I´m alone, smiling and enjoying my company only wishing that this journey never ends. It will not, for this journey is called life. and I am truly blessed. I´m not concerned with what lies before me. That is unknown. What matters most if what resides and remains with me at this very moment, for it lays the stones which I will step on. The stones that make this journey ever so fulfilling. I go where the wind takes me and from there, I am on my own.

Home Is Where The Heart Is

I run every morning to the beach in search for a peaceful start to an uknown day. Life sets before us obstacles and challenges to face, giving us the strength either to decide on what is best for our own well being. I, on the other hand have prayed to some greater power than human, for guidance to be true and at peace with those I surround myself with and mostly for the strength to be true to myself. I run every morning at a speed as I am unstoppable, for the thoughts that race in my mind I wish to defeat and win. I run hard with passion in order to sigh the most ultimate relief of breath when I reach that sparkiling sea. I, am the one and only person that can determine the outcome of my day, my life and the path that lies unknown yet before me. As also and always, I am the one person that can heal and move forward with and only with time. With this new chapter of my life, I must say that I am truly grateful to be able to feel the love, beauty yet harsh and hurtful burden that has consumed my heart and mind. I can feel, be patient and understand each and every emotion that has challenged me to be stronger every minute I live on this beautiful earth. For what breaks us can also heal us and that is Love, for another, for life and most importantly for yourself. What must and always be healed in order for us as humans to live a full and purposeful life, we must forgive as well. Those that have hurt us and ourselves. At last, as I take one look along the sands of my beach, I close my eyes and breathe. I leave the beach, the waves they crash freely and the sun, how it warms me, only to inhale my gratitude that I am alive and forever in love, with life and the beauty it bestows around me. I run back at peace, with a smile.

Venice Beach Pier

January 2010