Lifetimes For You

My love for you is infinite,

it runs deeper than any ocean, 

it kisses you with every breeze, 

it warms you with the sun, 

it is eternal. 

Tivoli, Italy

September 1, 2019

Infinite Connection

How did I get so lucky, to have love find me

who granted the gods the power, to set me free

my heart spins to a song of romance

and my soul is longing for our first dance.

I look to you for calmness 

in a world that has lost sight

I whisper words to remind you

you have become my worlds light

A Letter To My Mother

My earliest memory of you were always filled 

with love and happiness.

Cuddles in bed, never an empty stomach, 

little notes left on our dresser or notebooks, 

always with a smiley face and the words 

“I love you so much, be happy”. 

No one loved me more than you. 

All that you gave us in life, you never had. 

All that you wanted was for us, to have it all.

And we did, because of you. It was love, that’s all we had.

You worked a lot, I remember that. 

You always wore high heels and red lipstick.

Never left the house unpresentable. 

Your hair always done nicely, your clothes well pressed. 

You were a business woman. 

You led the way and defined the word “provider”.

You knew hustle and spoke calmly and you did it all for family.

I can only imagine what you must have given up as a woman, 

To be a mother.

What dreams you still dream of

What sacrifices you made, to give me life.

I can only imagine what you have gained in this life,

To be our mother.

If I could I would shower you with the words and respect that I sometimes don’t have the experience to know or relate to. 

For being a Mother, our mother is a true journey on its own.

Sometimes I wish my memories as an infant and child were more vivid and sharp than the memories as an adult. So I could remember how complete and perfect it felt to be held by you my first waking hour in this world. So I could see the tears of emotion trickle down your cheek, while looking at the love you just brought in to this uncertain world. 

Thank you for loving me more than yourself, more than anyone else, more than anything I will ever know, for loving me unconditionally. I am forever your daughter and forever grateful for you.

Love,

Leah

34 yrs today

May 23, 2018 7:08am

I Remember Him

There are only two times in my life I’ve seen my father cry. First time I was 5 or 6 years of age. Naive, not a care or worry in my little mind. He was in the bathroom, his hands set in front of him while he lean on the counter. He had his head down soft tears I remember, roared rapidly. I didn’t, at the time understand the reasoning or density of what he was going through. But now I know because I’m about his age as an adult, the same age he was when I saw him cry. And I understand that life isn’t always fair and you will hurt and struggle, you will feel completely alone and confused. Yet, you will remember that this too will pass and there will be brighter days. So you lift your head up and face the bathroom mirror, stare your kind and honest heart in the eyes and not give up. Because you do it, for your children.

The last time I saw my father cry, I stood beside him. This time, I understood pain, loss, the betrayal of existence which is also the only certainty of life; death. I was in my early 20s then. It may have been one of the hardest moments of his life, a time where I felt helpless. As if I could do nothing to take the heaviness he felt in his heart, away. The day his best friend, his now- childhood memory, his favorite person in the world passed away, his uncle. I could feel his pain through the deep shaken breaths he would take, trying to not show all of us, the hurt of loneliness he felt at that very moment. It filled his soul and that moment with the definition of loss. All I could do was place my hand on his shoulder and bring him in for a soft hug. But not I, not his mother, no one could ever replace that type of love.

By: Leah Jurado

Age 33

Los Angeles, CA

Verdugo Rd. Apt 2

3/7/19

Razor Pointe

Can you imagine a world where you can not be your true self? How many people can't even remember their true selves. A world where there is no place to hide in order to feel alive. Why is it that we must hide, to feel alive. In a world full of distraction, both material and false persona, there are still many places where nature roars and the wild portrays her true definition; centered and intuitive. Close your eyes and breathe in, do you feel that, that connection, that release, finally that peace. If half the world let go of the unnecessary then this world could be whole again.

La Jolla

'The Cove" Room

January 29, 2019

The End of Life

the wounds though deep,

do heal. 

however, there will always be a scar, 

a soft reminder, 

a longing. 

how can one love and also know in an instance, 

that love can be taken away so quickly. 

how does one emotionally rebuild, 

what is shattered; the heart. 

who taught us how to mend and heal what feels like weakness? 

the inability to cope with loss, is that equivalent to death?

it may be the end for some and for others, 

a slow and endless journey of darkness,

loneliness,

grieving.